Who am I?? It's a freaken question I'd kill to know. It's the same damn question I ask my self everyday..that freaken question defines me...TOTALLY CONFUZZLED!!
Who in their right minds can't figure this one out for themselves?? This crazyy Bitch! *ME*
Im begining to think I'm a victim of some kind of disorder...what would you call a person who can't figure out what she wants?..can't make up her mind when given options or choices?..always looking for attention in whatever way she can find?..I just feel so lost in myself..its like I'm thinking of a decision and then a whole bunch of options pop into my brain..options I would choose and options I know I probably should choose...but it really should be about what you as a person wants to choose..I get so confused..so messed up when it comes down to making decisions..I mix my personal preferance with choices I should choose and then..fight with my concience(who always argues my choice)..and end up completely lost and confused...I'll even forget what I was thinking about..and end up with no decision being made.
Heres another wierd thing I've noticed about myself..and it fruatrates the fuck out of me..the fact that my mood can change in a split second..one minute I'm okay with a situation..and the next second im pissed at it..then the next I'm okay with it again..I constantly can't make up my mind wheather I'm okay with something or not..the weird thing is that when I'm okay with something..I feel like I still need to analyse every aspect of that situation..question it..and then again I will ask myself.."should I be okay with it?" Struggling to figure out which is right to me and which is not is a neasance..I can't figure something out without the help of someone else's opinion!! Ahh and I hate that! I don't want to be a follower..I am a leader!! This is bullocks!!
What kind of person do you call this...because from what I know..this is not normal at all..it's an unsolved problematic problem!!
Maybe personality disorder? Could it be? Could I be loosing it one day at a time. Maybe yes maybe no..I can't even decide on that!! DAMN..